My father’s land divided
A grandmother used in sexual slavery
Beginning alocohlism & family violence
But a woman of great sacrifice & bravery
Who was made to be the sole provider
by the use of her body ordered by her family sent to Seoul
with a broken soul
to make money & send it back home.
A father adopted at 12
put through Hell
until he could speak English good… Or well.
The rest of his life misunderstood so throwing himself into work.
Work 4 jobs drink away a lifetime of hurt
so he doesn’t have to think of the pain caused by both his families.
A Korean American tragedy.
I come from a mother with no clue on her identity
her dad becoming an enemy
therefore is no friend to me though I long for some sort of grandfather-granddaughter memories.
More stories of Napi & the Blackfeet
but Native Grandpa don’t like Koreans even halfbreeds.
I come from a mom tenacious at times audacious never took a vacation.
I come from a childhood at the farmers markets.
Only able to afford clarence K-mart never any jeans from Target.
Eating ramen noodles on a daily
different flavors maybe.
Embarrassed by how this look made me.
Friends with nice clothes
Grandma’s wisdom inevitable
“Child at least you got clothes. Food too is all you need to know”
I was Grandma’s girl.
She was my world
So what Grandma says GOES
but still the shame my shoes aren’t the same
I don’t have an authentic jersey with anyone’s name.
I think back – was I really that vain?
I guess in a way you can see it.
As much as my dad didn’t seem it
He had to have the nice stereos and CDs.
Impulsive purchases of TVs.
Made fights between my mom and him easy.
I stand back looking at the people I hail from.
Sometimes wanting to say “ah hell no”
but despite the chronic fights
we did have some fun
and everything was years ago.
We’re doing all right
Despite all the generations and trauma we’ve come from.