13

Its been 13 years
but the salt of an ocean’s tears
still taste like when they first appeared –
That First Year…
I don’t get it.
When will this pain finish
or at least diminish?
They say the cliche
Forgive and forget but he’ll never get my forgiveness.

God forgive me but I want eye for an eye:
let him or his child go blind.
I want to see this monster I despise
cry like I’ve cried
before I meet my demise.

Don’t think I don’t hate my own hatred
but a life was taken
put in a trunk and stripped naked
all over a payment.
That body found a month later in a lake
tied down with weights.
Now there’s this hallucination I can’t shake.
My brother’s dead body in a trunk taken to a lake
tied down with weights…

I have said that I’ve forgiven the coward
but when I dwell on it I see him enjoying his power
as he jumped my brother with an object and took his life
then after putting him in the lake he was on the next flight.
In court call it self-defense and my brother a threat on his life,
even though my brother wasn’t easy to provoke and get into a fight.
The bastard lied
The papers lied
No, in fact the bastard was seen as the one victimized
as they printed my brother’s past crimes
no explanation as to why
he was even charged with those crimes
but never mind
my brother shouldn’t have been the one on trial.
How do they see the coward has no remorse and just smiles?
How does he show no remorse and just smiles?

Every year
feels like the first year
and I’m scared
because it has been 13 years.

Advertisements