No Metaphor 

For my nephew Gabriel Isaiah Mattison. Auntie loves you so much.

My soul is torn
I try to use metaphors
to describe the hurt I feel
Sometimes I have to stand still
because my chest gets tight.
I have to bottle the pain inside
Once I cry I go from morning to midnight
I can’t breathe.
You’re my favorite person to see
but you don’t recognize me.
Tears stay still
I can’t breathe
from all the pain I feel
I miss my nephew.
That little boy that had to be with auntie.
From the moment of your birth you had me.
I was wrapped around your little fingers.
This is why this pain so intensely lingers.
I can’t think of any metaphor
to describe the pain anymore.
It just hurts so much to not see you.
For you not to remember you’re my nephew.
Seriously if I could just hold and protect you
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do.
If I could take your pain away
I’d add it to my own
just so you could smile and feel safe
God the way things had to unfold
I’ll never understand.
Once upon a time you were my right had man
Really the only thing I had.
I can still feel your sticky little hand
wrapped in mine.
Passed has so much time
and she’s washed your mind.
She lost her mind.
Manipulative and using you as a little kid…
I just don’t get it.
I just don’t get it.
You deserved so much more…
I wish I could use a simple metaphor
but it’s all been used before.
There’s just no longer a metaphor.
I’m sorry I can’t say much more.

Old Rhymes

2015

I have nothing to say what’s on my mind
So I connect the lines
of my old rhymes
previously pushed aside.
From politics to Korean pride
From Oppa Gabe to nephew Gabe
So many things before I wanted to say
but the rhyme scheme went away
so the old rhymes once pushed away
Come back to life
While I keep what’s on my mind
deep inside
and just write
feelings from the past
until my finger develops a callous
from love to malice
now passed.

Words

Gift with the words

I got a gift with words

So when does pinpointing the right word occur? 

I guess I’m not sure 

but until I do my gift with words will be insecure

Wrap my mind around every thought

But it’s absurd 

My mind gets obscured 

waiting for the right word to occur

It’s as if my brain burns 

waiting for that damn word… 

I got a gift with words. 

I got a gift with words.