Ostriches 

2011

All these politics
I try my best not to follow it
but the addict behavior falls back on it.
My apologies for the rant that is
about to foam from my lips
but I’m tired of political bullshit.
Media more outrage a peon politician tweeted his dick
than the shutdown that’s gonna get
even more unemployed
so excuse me if I come off annoyed
but the passive democrats no longer voice my voice
and I’m hearing more Tea-Bagging noise
than I can hear my own thoughts
That I almost forgot
I too can get dressed, put on my shoes & socks
Get others pumped up enough
to get Bachmann out shouted or shut up’d.
But everyone seems lethargic
Maybe it’s from the chemical poisons
or laziness manifested & harden
that we accept unemployment.
So why the fvck am i paying taxes for
this type of environment crime thrives in
The unemployed with no benefits to get back on our feet are gonna riot when
we can’t provide our kids
the basic necessities of life
We gonna eat each other alive
to try to get
on top of the food chain
because we let government get ran by banks.
The pharmaceuticals are making billions off your pain.
They rather you die from cancer
than find a cure
So there goes your prayers unanswered
But put it on the Creator that the doctors can’t do anymore.
Your uterus is an inconvenience
to your boss.
Faster than a stolen phoenix
that child you always wanted costed you your job.
And you can’t even plan parenthood
because that fundamental Christian bitch across the street
thinks that she should.
No matter how many weeks that parasite you’re made to keep.
You want condoms or birth control to prevent having to choose an abortion?
That’s also in her decision
but once that fetus is here she don’t care he’s an orphan
The fact is making you keep that fetus made her feel a better Christian.
But the other fact is
she isn’t.
Because that orphan she doesn’t want to feed.
Why? Because she hates paying taxes.
If only Jesus was still here in the physical
these people wouldn’t listen to Him because His talk of welfare isn’t Biblical enough for these individuals.
Money is the real religion
Christianity, Islam, Judaism isn’t.
Which brings it back to that money in your bank
isn’t your money like you think.
You’re part of the economical food chain
and your reality doesn’t sync
with the fantasies you believe and been ingrained to believe.
Democrat, Republican, Independent
Libertarian
all are titles that wreak
this world is under authoritarian.
Call it the New World Order
or the illuminati
They’re poisoning your waters
and destroying your body.
Ask them if they care…
They’ll just distract you with celebrities or that religion bullshit
Just clear the air
because they won’t do it.
All these politics
it’s enraging to follow shit.
And all you can do is be like ostriches
bury your head in the sand
because where do you begin to stand
and put reality back in your hands?

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Unraveled 

2014

My feelings for you lie between love, hate, and pity
and I no longer have it in me
to listen to you talk all pretty
the same night you drink and treat my mom shitty
To sleep with my phone on nine
ready to reach for one
because I no longer trust you with her life.
Everything you instilled in me has been undone.
Unraveled in your lust for liquor
in the anger you display.
I fear you but not the effects on your liver
because I’m at the point of
“Whatever makes you die quicker”
so that I don’t have to hear this anymore
you pounding on the door
stomping on the floor
Selfishly thinking others must endure
something you can’t control
and don’t even try to.
What do you do when your hero falls
and you don’t even care that mine’s was you
and you’ve fallen from the face of grace
The one man, who’s supposed to make me feel safe…
You’ve fallen from grace.

Alright…

2015

Just because you’re right never expect people to be right with you. You can write with all your might reasons why you’re on the side of right and they should join too but it’ll only leave you short sight on their might to do what the right do…

Right there in your nightmares you find they’re not true. What can you do? There’s no controlling fools. Hypocrites playing you as an idiot. Nothing more than a militant Indian. You deserve the shit you’re living in. Tired of doing things right. Tired of the panic at night. How is doing right an option in life? How can you call social justice being a waste of time?

People are either doers or viewers watching the issues. Trying to stay neutral from their armchair yet they cheer when something they decide to care for is brought to the front line once more. It’s a good cause sign a petition online and whine instead of joining others on that front line. I’ll take credit for passing the petition on. I’ll take the flattery even if deep down I’m wrong. There’s nothing worst than knowing shit’s wrong but you stay sitting until the problem is gone. All you can say is you passed the petition on… what more could you’ve done?

Hooves And Feet

Dedicated to my Unni G. Last night I was suicidal and she wouldn’t stop texting and calling me until I answered and could prove I hadn’t followed through with my plans. She’s an advocate, a hero, and so much more. I love her so much. She’s saved me from myself a few times but last night was intense. We talked about the earth and universe. Being connected to it. She then challenged me to think of the weakest animal. I said “me” and she told me to open my mind a bit and really think about what she’s asking me. So I sarcastically said “the ants that are sucking up poison in my traps and bringing it back to their queen.” She laughed and told me to next think of the strongest animal I could think of. I’ve always loved buffaloes. They represent so much. I have one tatted on my forearm. So she told me to think about buffaloes for the night and she wanted me to write a poem about them and post it to her FB wall. So I did. Here it is.

Hooves on the ground
Calvary all around
Not a warrior to be found
Just as policy planned out.
No more sacrifice for the hungry and cold
Piles of skulls photographed as proof to be shown
the Indians and buffaloes
will die together from genocide on land not sold
but stolen by treaties broken leading D.C. to now control
the land privatized and now own.
Hand and hoof travel forever over land covered in blood and gold.
However the strength of both
came back around to show
their survivors and descendants will always find a way back
No matter the railroad tracks
that plague the way they can’t cover the sacred.
The hooves cannot be exterminated
by any single nation.
To this day the buffalo is proof that we too can make it.

Afterward: GG – I love you for the countless times you’ve been there for me and making me answer my phone last night. You always make sure I’m okay even if it’s been months since we spoke you shoot me random texts checking on me and post jokes on FB for me to see to laugh at. A few years ago I realized you actually have the same initials as my brother, Gabe Gonzales. I think he made sure you got into my life. Before he was the only one who could ever talk me off the ledge and would drop whatever he was doing to make sure I’m okay. Neither of you can ever be replaced. I’m just very lucky when it comes to double Gs in my life. 

I Miss You

Why without you can’t I make the right decisions?
I feel like I’m in this vulnerable position 

because you I’m missin’ 

A part me feels missin’

I lost the strength in me. 

They say this isn’t how you’d want me to be 

But as you see

This pitiful being is now me. 

My own parents said I’m weak. 

I cry so hard I lose speech. 

You know I used to always be able to speak. 

You pretty much instilled that aspect in me. 

Now look at me: my own parents called me weak.   

This is a nightmare I can’t wake up from. 

This is the outcome 

when someone you extremely loved 

is suddenly taken from you.   

Nothing I could ever dream of

is not having you to tell me what to do. 

Not having someone to catch me when I fall

and didn’t mind at all

Someone hard for others to get ahold of

but not me, you answered my calls.  

We had such a tight bond. 

You accepted I was a little off and odd

but you swore to God

I was your little sister.  

I put my handle on the Bible and called you my big brother.  

I’ve become so insecure 

and don’t reach out to others. 

No longer even my father and mother. 

They made it clear 

they don’t want to hear 

How I’m feeling here. 

Some days there’s a thickness in the air

and now no one seems to care

That I can’t breathe here. 

You said you always got me. 

I believed you. 

I’m waiting for you in the lobby. 

I need you. 

I’m such a lost cause. 

Two friends gave up 

I’m sure you saw. 

It wouldn’t hurt that much 

if you were to help me not be so lost. 

I’m so tired of crying. 

Burning people out. 

I keep thinking about dying. 

I just want out. 

I only believe in the Afterlife

No such thing as Hell

I’m such a burden that it’d be more of a sacrifice 

than putting others through this Hell. 

I miss you. 

When I got like this 

It’s like you professionally knew what to do. 

You remind me I was your baby sis

and you’d see me through.  

Here I am thinking this. 

I want to be able to be reunited with you

but every time I start to 

someone intervenes 

I just wish the cops and doctors would let me be.  

Problems of a Militant 

Militant minded


Blinded by blood diamonds 

Hollering at the silent 

I can’t stand being quiet

and seeing the world 

just twirl

in blood knowing we’re all behind it. 

Kids fleeing to be reunited

with their mothers trafficked by the Chinese 

So for them to flee to be free

finding the mothers for so long they hadn’t seen 

was futile

and bounty hunters pray on a starving child. 

And this hasn’t just been a short while 

But long and worsening. 

How can money be the first thing 

on the mind instead of human lives? 

It makes me sick inside. 

Countries war torn 

Held captured either by capitalist or ISIS 

Fuck who started it but who profits from behind it!

They got you terrified 

that every Muslim or Arab you walk by 

is a terrorist with some plot in mind

to take your life. 

The reality is it’s so flipped. 

They’re targeted by the paranoid and bigots. 

Refugees burning off their finger tips 

on electrical barbed wires

trying to escape the bombings and fire. 

Only to be in a refugee camp set on fire 

by those who make it difficult

to see they are not the individuals

behind the terror 

They’re the ones surviving the terror. 

Rather it be Syria or France. 

 It’s like no matter the matter they have no chance 

to feel relief and freedom at last. 

Children drowning on the shores of Greece. 

You read and hear these stories then go to bed in peace. 

How does it come down to this? 

The tragic this truly is

I know, like you, how it did come to this. 

The Oklahoma Bombing first described 

the spotting of two Arab guys 

seen nearby. 

How wrong the news outlets were! 

I mean, did it truly ever occur

that the Arab men they identified first 

were on their way to a coffee shop? 

Finding out it was a white man, oh what a shock! 

People of Color fear the police because most likely to be shot. 

People with mental illness fear the police because they’re just as likely to be shot. 

But please, ignore me for being so militant minded. 

For not being quite so blinded

to the fucked up world we people reside in

and practice their right to not give a fuck and to remain silent. 

Sister Renegades

Sister Renegades
Life has its ups and downs 

and I know right now

you see mostly down 

but you’ll someday look around 

with a smile that you made it through 

I see so much potential in you and I wonder how can’t you? 

But I know it’s so much easier to see the bad view than look at the world that has its arms around you. 

You don’t need love to make you special – look deep in yourself and realize your real potential 

Right now I see you reaching out for help and the only thing I can say is love yourself 

It’s not as simple as it sounds 

You gotta do the work and not be afraid to reach out. 
Everything happens for a reason 

and you can instantly be deterred from your path  

but the thought of your hurt past can be overwhelming enough to set yourself back 

but you can get back on that path. 

I’ll always do all I can to help you stand 

and continue to walk your path even if I have to drag you by the hand. 

I know I’m not the only one with unconditional love for you

Who’s willing to guide you through

whatever you need to. 

Many can help but no one can stand in your way unless you choose to let them do so

but eventually the pain we gotta let go 

Move forward and continue 
The blood of fighters and survivors run through your veins 

We can’t let their love for their descendants go in vain 

You’re the Seventh Generation that they prayed would survive to this day.

To think of the strength they held onto for you, their love you can never 

lose. 

The admiration of your own descendants seven generations from now is what we fight for 

It’s what you fight for! 
You got to fight for yourself

Quit fighting yourself. 

You’re the only one seeing everything as hopeless 

But keep your head up, mind focus and eyes wide open. 

The universe will fall into place

Until then we face what the Creator puts in our way but this I pray you smile and laugh everyday. 

It’s how we endure and last. 

This here, sister, too shall past.