Bust It

I wanna punch out a rhymebut can’t even find 

the words I need to describe 

what’s going on inside. 

My heart is overfilled but broken 

I put down my shield & left my heart open. 

It’s as if my chest was cracked open again 

let someone in & I can’t even begin 

to say how great & safe being around them felt within. 

But I predicted it would end

to the point I no longer could count them as a friend 

It’s just the life I noticed I live

That those who feel like safety 

eventually grow to hate me

or we drive each other crazy 

or one of us is constantly angry. 

I look at them & thanks for whatever purpose brought them into my life 

Hate that it’s awkward and we can’t even look each other in the eyes. 

It hurts deep inside 

but that’s on me to decide 

but I fucking hate they feel no remorse inside 

that it’s a relief not to talk to me

I feel like a disease disabled in disbelief. 
Fuck it, I just wanna bust a rhyme

to describe whatever it is I feel inside. 

I try but all the petty shit comes out

It all comes out, it all comes out

I can’t bust a rhyme because all I wanna do is shout 

There’s too much brewing inside of me. 

Pray to the Creator I’ve lasted this long in sobriety. 

Day by day finally 

Hitting every landmark I set

I replay 26 years in my head 

filled with so many regrets

that it’ll only be freed once I’m dead

And once I’m dead don’t mourn.  

Celebrate that I was even born

made it past 18 and much more

There was a lot I got to explore

could’ve done much more 

but don’t let me rest in peace 

just let me be

Please lord set me free

I’ll be around like I’ve always promised to be in this life

And I’m not ending life

I’m beginning life

this world was never real 

There’s just something about how it feels that it felt more like the realm of a dream than something to live in and build

But it’s definitely not unreal 

just a different realm

A dream state 

It’s why I know I still feel Gabe

if death was real then we would separate 

but if he & my deceased are still with me then how’d we separate 

Death is just something we create. 
I don’t know why I can’t just bust out a fucking rhyme to describe the depths of my mind. 

Through all the bullshit I know I have love to the fullest 

from those who even cares to know this

Know that I can bust out a rhyme 

Know that I either laugh or cry

Don’t just take me for my jokes or political side. 

Know my heart, soul, and mind

Take me for what I am 

not for who I’ve been 

Don’t give a fucking damn 

they’re here to the end

For them I want to bust out the greatest rhyme

Write the deepest most beautiful line

I wanna take time to perfectly describe 

The internal feeling of safety they make me feel inside. 

For them… I just wanna write

everything from the heart

but I have no place to start

because this feeling is so strong that it’s hard 

to put words on but I’ll bust out a rhyme and try to start. 

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