2011. Dedicated to my little sister Rose.
I had a little sister growing up.
Daughter of family friends but there was no difference in the sibling fights & love.
Her dad stepped out of the picture so my once shy little sister got back at him by being an easy fuck
getting her ass tossed up
And I remain so hesitant to call her a slut
But it is what it is
It plays with my head a little bit
Because back when we were little kids
She was so annoying & meek
Clenching tightly to her mom’s hand walking down Nicollet
Helping at the Farmers’ Market that week
I hit her up on her facebook page
Message her to think of pregnancy & Aids
Now she dates a man twice her age
But her mindset is lower than her own age
I tell her to please behave
I can’t handle seeing another sibling in the grave
But she gets pissed & won’t respond.
Anybody else I’d just move on
and hand it off to God
and not look back at them
But I don’t want my little sister gone
because of her dad – her trying to get back at him.
Look, I held in a lot of anger & rage
Attempted to drug up & drink away the pain
but it didn’t bring back Gabe
Just left me in a black cloud drowning in self-toxic loathing rain.
Gave Andy my life when he already took my brother’s.
It’s fucked up my mind & so many years I’ve suffered
It’s taken me too long to discover
Substance abuse doesn’t bring me any comfort
but it’s not successful at getting back at him.
Listen little sis, nothing gets back at them.
As much as you wanna change what happened
or make them see what they put you through
you only put more through of you than they ever cared to.