Fixing It

From 2010. Just found it.

We each die a little more each day
Some of us can’t wait while others just got to take another’s away.
Suffice to say, it’s what has caused me to fuck up
Take medicine to fix it
but gotta increase because Seroquel isn’t enough.
Another therapist visit
Lies that I don’t drink
But I see my Unni sees through me
The disappointed face is enough to know what she thinks and she’s right about what she sees:
A problem with problems who accepts the problems and is too far gone in her head to solve them.
Too far gone in spirit so I down the spirits until their bottle is like me – numb and hallow.

Here’s more pills to swallow
Here’s another shot to down.
It’ll be the same tomorrow
I’ll allow myself to drown
to relieve the pain.

I got people to blame
Important people to push away
Before I spread the pain
Then pull back because I need them that day.

Buy another bottle to numb my dying existence
Pop more pills because the doctors said it’ll fix “it.”


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