Untitled (Pain Management)

Dedicated to my Oppa Gabe and his mother, Rosemary 

Her pain is hard to imagine
When my own is hard to manage
It’s as if when you left all of us stranded
I still haven’t been able to fully accept what happened

Four years later it’s come down to a trial
The intensity in my head still won’t heal for a long awhile
the sorrow in my heart relapses and spreads wild
The pain is indescribable so it’s just untitled

I can feel it in my eyes
Wiping the tear drops away 
it doesn’t matter how hard I cry
He took you away

Plagued with guilt thinking you could ever hurt me intentionally
but this wasn’t supposed to be your destiny
You’re supposed to be next to me
Protecting me especially

I have so many questions left unanswered
And I thought four years later 
I could master 
the anger

Master the sorrow
Master walking in the foot steps never made 
but I try to follow 
and live twice everyday

But the pain never goes away
And any mention of your name leaves me depressed for days 
suffering in untitled heartache

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